Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
(Proverbs 31: 10-12, NKJV)
The first verse in this passage was the basis of a short daily devotion that DH and I read the other day (although in my case it should probably read sapphires since I love them so much). He must have been thinking of it all day for when we went for our evening walk he commented on how much he appreciated me and then added, "I wish I could give you more."
Give me more?
What exactly does he want to give me that I don't already have?
If we're talking about what we have and have not, then let's look at the haves first:
Twenty-six years of marriage. Twenty-six! in an age where divorce seems far more common than celebrating the tenth wedding anniversary.
Five wonderful sons of whom I am so very proud. Contrary to what some feminists would have us believe, they wouldn't be here without him.
Twenty-five years of parenting together and making and sharing memories and taking it in turns to sit up at night with sick children and enduring numerous school prize givings (only two to go!).
Two beautiful daughters-in-law. Granted he didn't have anything to do with this, but his teaching and influence on being a godly husband and choosing wisely must have made some impact. He was the one who taught our sons to pray about their future spouse from an early age so I think it's only fair that he takes some of the credit.
Two adorable granddaughters and two more beautiful grandbabies on the way. Grandchildren who can visit Nana and Grandpa in the same home - not in separate homes as some grandchildren have to do. Grandchildren whose faces light up when they see him. Grandchildren whose antics we laugh over together after they've gone home. I could go on and on about the grandchildren but I don't want to bore you to death!
Encouragement to follow my dreams. Never making me feel guilty for writing when I could've been doing housework but always encouraging. Never envious of what I've achieved but being my biggest fan when my book is finally published.
Children who are saved and growing in the Lord. Children who will teach their children. In most cases I may have been the one who prayed with them when they decide to commit their lives to the Lord, but I was never alone in teaching them.
A husband who has proved himself faithful and committed and who has never wavered.
Unconditional love and acceptance regardless of my dress size or my character flaws.
The memories of the years I stayed at home with my children when they were little. I know of many mothers who are forced by their husbands to go back to work when their children are still babies. I've seen mothers crying as they leave their precious little one and go off to work. He never once asked me to work or contribute to the family income when our children were little. In fact, the decision to return to work part-time after our children were in school was mine and sometimes I wonder if I was insane!
Some one to rub my back when it's sore even if he does remind me that it's my own fault because my posture is so bad and even if I never offer to rub his back when it's sore.
A rose garden that he works in despite my promises to care for it.
Family that come home - to a home where both parents live. It might not be 'flash' but there's always a bed if they need it - and food too. He always cooks too much because he's always afraid that there's not enough and he doesn't want anyone to go hungry. But no one's complaining (at least I haven't heard any one complain).
Nothing is ever too much trouble. Whether it's helping me cook dinner or picking up our sons from Uni, he always seems willing. (Before anyone thinks he's too good to be true, he doesn't offer to do ironing or most housework.)
Working together in the church in ministry. I really appreciated this when DH was away and I had a classful of teenage boys! Enough said.
Support to grow my hair long despite the fact that I'm over 40 and long hair is frowned upon on women my age. But he loves it long and knows that it makes me feel more me when it's long. But in a society where it's not the norm, I would've cut years ago if it had not been for his support (and all those wonderful compliments that he's getting so good at giving).
Godly in-laws. My mother-in-law is one of the most godly women I have ever known. My father-in-law was also a wonderful man and I respected him greatly.
Praying together for our children.
Plans to renovate our home because he wants me to have my dream kitchen.
So what don't I have?
Heartbreak.
A broken home.
Broken children.
Broken lives.
Really, what more does he think he can give me that I don't already have?
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