Monday, January 9, 2012

Twenty Eight


Saturday was our wedding anniversary: twenty eight years since I married my best friend.

Of course, when we got married we knew that marriage was hard work - and we expected it to be - occasionally - but we were so much in love and had made such a wise choice of spouse that we didn't expect to have any problems.

Oh, the innocence of youth! Or is it, there are none so blind as those that refuse to see?

I'm not sure when I discovered just how much hard work is required to make a marriage work, but it was fairly early in the piece. I could say that no one warned me that it would be hard work all the time, but the truth is, I wouldn't have listened anyway. I thought I knew better.

Now I know that despite all the hard work, it is definitely worth it. To have someone who loves you no matter what ... who remains committed to you throughout all the years and through all the valleys and mountains ... who, despite the passing years and all claim to beauty long since past, still thinks you're beautiful ... to have years of treasured memories to share together and reflect back on ... to take pride in your growing family ... to know that there is someone who will always be there, always be on your side, always cares, who you can always trust ... again I say it's worth it.

As I look back on twenty eight years I have a picture of two horses harnessed together to pull this cart called marriage. When they're going in the same direction, everything is going fine ... it's when one wants to go off and do things its own way (and we're generally talking about me here) that troubles start. One day I'll learn to pull in harness.

To celebrate our anniversary we began with breakfast in a cafe followed by a walk along the river to look at the local growers and craft markets. Then we picked up some picnic fare and went for a drive upriver until we found the perfect spot for a picnic lunch. Later we watched the sun set on the beach. Despite taking approximately seventy photos (mostly of the sunset), we didn't get a single one of the two of us together. Oh well. Perhaps these ones will suffice:











And for other posts about past anniversaries go here and here.

7 comments:

Sharlene said...

Beautiful!! Congratulations! Marriage is hard work, but truly worth it all. If only we could be less selfish. :(

Ohtawen said...

My dear Jules, congratulations to you and you husband! 28 years of marriage - that's truly wonderful. Your example is really something young people can look up to. Just knowing that there are people who work hard on making their marriage solid, and who are devoted to each other makes me feel optimistic.

I'm so happy you and your husband had such a wonderful day. I love the photos - you were right to take so many pictures of sunsets :) Those scenes are breathtaking.

Jules said...

Thank you Sharlene and Ohtawen. Something that really helped me years ago was hearing at a marriage seminar that everyone of us is married to the second most selfish person in the world. The most selfish person is ourselves! Now, I know there are probably exceptions, but there is a lot of truth in it all the same. Something else that has helped was reading recently that we judge ourselves by our intentions and our spouses by their actions (link: http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2011/11/live-blogging-familylifes-weekend-to-remember-conference/). No wonder they never measure up to us! In marriage it helps to remember that we're not perfect!!! and neither are our spouses!

Ohtawen, I hope you continue to feel optimistic toward marriage. It can work when both are prepared to work at it and it is very rewarding when that happens. The secret is in never ever ever giving up. Yes there are bad times, but they do eventually pass and what you find later (sometimes years later) is that the bad times are needed to make something that is incredibly beautiful and precious.

Sharlene said...

Thank you for sharing what you learned. Those are good thoughts.

Ohtawen said...

Jules, as usual, you make perfect sense. You always have such sage advice, and you are not afraid to share it. Thank you so much :)
I still don't know if marriage is my calling, though. Perhaps I'm called to singlehood, I'm not sure. But I figure that The Lord has my future all planned out, and He will let me know what I am to do when the time comes :D

Jules said...

Ohtawen, so true. The Lord does know and His plans are best.

SchnauzerMom said...

Congratulations. You have a beautiful family. Great photos too.