When I went for my music lesson today my teacher seemed uncharacteristically excited. She mentioned the word "opportunity" and my immediate thought was, "Oh no. She wants me to do something out of my comfort zone. Probably play a solo or something. There is no way I'm doing that."
She then told me to take a seat.
This did not bode well for our future together as teacher and student. Any news where I had to be sitting was not going to be good news, of that I was sure.
My teacher then went on to tell me that she has been approached to play the flute in the orchestra for an upcoming amateur production of Alice in Wonderland, and that if she couldn't do it (due to other commitments) would I do it. Apparently my name was mentioned specifically which was almost earth-shattering since I would never have imagined that the person doing the asking would even know my name!
My first reaction was that I'm not ready for this. Not just confidence-wise, but skill- and technical-wise. I still can't execute a trill. Well, I can - in a manner of speaking. It just takes several beats in a bar rather than the milliseconds it should take. But at least it's even. That's what I tell myself: it's even.
But back to my story.
I asked my teacher why I'd been thought of and not some other student and she replied that this other person had heard me play when she'd accompanied me on the piano, and also when I'd played in the flute choir. Um, yeah, so tell me again why they asked for me? Just in case it wasn't clear why I was so hesitant, I pointed out to my teacher that I am the weakest link in our flute choir ... and she didn't disagree.
So, why me?
Obviously there must be some mistake.
Why then, am I even considering it especially given my incredible workload this term? Am I insane? (The correct answer is 'yes!')
I'll just console myself with the thought that it's all a big mistake and I'll wake up soon and realise that it was another "Jules" they were thinking of. Surely that's not impossible?
Or is it?