We're still renovating; still living smack dab in the middle of a construction site. I'm not going to bore you with the details. But when I reflect back to my fears and anxieties about starting Round Three (and here we are now somewhere in Round Four) I realise I've learnt a few things. And being the kind and caring and sharing person that I am (I heard you laughing, Son#2 and others), I'm going to impart to you my newfound wisdom.
Please note that the title said "Lessons In Progress". Some things I'm having to learn day after day. Some things I did really well at today but I may totally fail at next week. So let's get down to What I Have Learnt (Or Lessons In Progress) During Round Four:
One: Nothing every goes as expected.
Expect delays. Expect surprises. Expect the unexpected.
Expect tradesmen to change their collective mind. If they say they are going to be there on Monday and you will have no water all day and so you organise to go to work for the day and leave them to it, then expect that they won't turn up on Monday but on Tuesday when you're home all day.
Expect to change your own mind. Snap decisions will have to be made. Suddenly you find that you're not only replacing the hot water heater but repositioning it too, thus creating a whole great big glorious cupboard space hitherto unknown.
(I don't even have enough linen to fill half the cupboard space: what am I going to put in there?)
Two: Be flexible.
Refer to one. If something is going to be done on such-and-such a day and you make plans, expect to change those plans. Or work around tradesmen. Or do your housework at midnight Saturday (hasn't been quite that bad yet, but close to it).
There will be tradespeople in your home over Easter. And Anzac Day. Be flexible and go with the flow. (Or lock yourself in your room with a movie and your quilting and pretend they don't exist.)
Three: Don't sweat the small stuff. Or the big stuff.
Easier said than done for someone who likes to have things under control. But I'm learning. I have spent a whole week walking through dust and leaving footprints across my kitchen floor because it seemed pointless to clean it up when the plasterer was only going to come the next day and make more dust. (Obviously lead-based paint dust from when the ceiling was sanded was an exception.)
I've had to pretend that it doesn't matter than the doors to the wardrobe (or the cupboard) will arrive weeks after the builder is ready to put them in. It would be easier to install and paint all at the same time but it doesn't seem to work that way.
I've had to learn to live with the dust and the mess and turn a blind eye and not get upset about things over which I have no control. The only other alternative is to lock myself in my room with a movie and my quilting (that works too).
Four: Bite your tongue.
Things are not going to go according to plan. You're going to get frustrated. You're going to get cold (we have no fire at the moment - thankfully it has been a mild winter so far). You're going to want to scream at the mess and the dust and the tools and the building supplies that are everywhere in your house. You're going to want to let slip a bad word when you stub your toe on something in the middle of the night because your hallway resembles an obstacle course and there are no longer any lights to turn on.
Bite. Your. Tongue.
Don't say it. Mop up the blood and get over it. Words can't be unsaid and relationships are for more important than anything that is driving you crazy right now.
Five: Exercise patience.
Refer above. It feels as if it will never end. It feels as if DH will be sanding and priming and painting and staining forever. It feels as if you'll never get to rehang your curtains or quilts or see The Most Adorable Granddaughters' faces smiling down at you from the hallway wall. It feels that you'll be forever saying, "I have that music/book/sewing notion/knitting pattern/DVD … packed away somewhere - if only I could have it now." It feels as if your home will always be occupied by people who don't live there but whose presence cannot be ignored.
Have patience. Which brings me to the next one …
It will. I don't know when but it will one day be over and you'll look back and wonder why it felt like such an ordeal at the time. It won't last forever - regardless of how much it feels right now that it could never possibly end.
It will pass. And then it will be worth it.
Seven: Take advantage of opportunities.
If you are anywhere - work, town, someone's home - and there is an operating bathroom: use it! Despite your knowledge of your home when you left the house that day, when you return you may discover that it is now impossible to use your own bathroom. Even though your bathroom is not on the list of rooms to be renovated. It doesn't matter. Just. Take. Advantage. Of. Bathrooms. Wherever. (Trust me on this.)
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