DH and I watched a documentary last night on a new movement that seems to be taking some countries by storm. It's based on a book entitled "The Surrendered Wife" and if the couples they showed are anything to go by, then it's a little scary.
Don't get me wrong. I believe the Bible when it says that wives should be submissive to their husbands. I just don't think the husband has a right to demand it or that it should become just another form of slavery.
Yet watching this documentary, this is the impression that you get: that wives are literally slaves to their husbands and that husbands have the right to dictate every area of their spouse's life right down to what she does each day and wears each day and even how she does her hair.
One husband made a list of household chores for his wife to do each day! As if she wasn't able to think or plan for herself. I wonder if he also told her what friends she was allowed - or perhaps she wasn't even allowed out of the house without him.
Another husband went so far as to say that his wife must give up all her rights and be subjected to him. What!? I think husbands and wives should put aside their own rights and put their spouse's rights before their own but for a woman to have no rights at all and be subjected to her husband's every whim ... I'm sorry, but I don't think that's Biblical.
Despite the fact that the couples claimed to be doing "God's will" (and perhaps this is what was most disturbing about the documentary because it will give all Christians a bad name in the eyes of the world), there seemed to be few examples of the husbands living out their God-given role. That is, loving the wife as Christ loved the church. Does Christ harass us and make demands of us and expect us to act like robots with no minds of our own? No He doesn't force us to do His will but instead waits for us to do it willingly. He showers us with perfect love even when we don't respond in love. He created us in the beginning and wants us to use the incredible minds that He has given us - to use them for Him - not to be mindless ninnies.
Neither was there any mention of the husbands submitting to their wives. And yes, that is in the Bible but is probably one of the most overlooked verses when it comes to marriage!
We shouldn't be afraid of submission - but we should be wary of man-made rules that enforce it. Christ doesn't force us to do anything. Rather in His Word we are given guidelines on how to live which when followed will bring joy and peace.
The last word is found in Ephesians 5:21-33 where we are given a beautiful example of submission and love:
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church ... Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ so let the wives be to their husbands ... Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it. ... So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. ... let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Don't get me wrong. I believe the Bible when it says that wives should be submissive to their husbands. I just don't think the husband has a right to demand it or that it should become just another form of slavery.
Yet watching this documentary, this is the impression that you get: that wives are literally slaves to their husbands and that husbands have the right to dictate every area of their spouse's life right down to what she does each day and wears each day and even how she does her hair.
One husband made a list of household chores for his wife to do each day! As if she wasn't able to think or plan for herself. I wonder if he also told her what friends she was allowed - or perhaps she wasn't even allowed out of the house without him.
Another husband went so far as to say that his wife must give up all her rights and be subjected to him. What!? I think husbands and wives should put aside their own rights and put their spouse's rights before their own but for a woman to have no rights at all and be subjected to her husband's every whim ... I'm sorry, but I don't think that's Biblical.
Despite the fact that the couples claimed to be doing "God's will" (and perhaps this is what was most disturbing about the documentary because it will give all Christians a bad name in the eyes of the world), there seemed to be few examples of the husbands living out their God-given role. That is, loving the wife as Christ loved the church. Does Christ harass us and make demands of us and expect us to act like robots with no minds of our own? No He doesn't force us to do His will but instead waits for us to do it willingly. He showers us with perfect love even when we don't respond in love. He created us in the beginning and wants us to use the incredible minds that He has given us - to use them for Him - not to be mindless ninnies.
Neither was there any mention of the husbands submitting to their wives. And yes, that is in the Bible but is probably one of the most overlooked verses when it comes to marriage!
We shouldn't be afraid of submission - but we should be wary of man-made rules that enforce it. Christ doesn't force us to do anything. Rather in His Word we are given guidelines on how to live which when followed will bring joy and peace.
The last word is found in Ephesians 5:21-33 where we are given a beautiful example of submission and love:
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church ... Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ so let the wives be to their husbands ... Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it. ... So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. ... let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Comments
I would love to be in those wife's position...giving totally from my heart. It is an awesome place to be. God doesn't give exceptions...the word doesn't say, wives do all this ONLY if your husband is doing what he should. That's where we totally look to God in all areas of our life & trust Him. How big is YOUR God?!
My God is Almighty!!
"But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy." James 3:17
*I am by no means perfect. But I know that I am able (as you are too) to do all things in Christ and will be rewarded by Him!
Many blessings,
BellaMama
I still have a lot to learn about submission and I fail heaps and heaps but I'm learning.
Blessings, Jules
"Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Eph. 5:24
The media does misrepresent Christians, but I do believe the scripture is clear. For all this I know and do not; I fail also. I hoped to encourage you to give more of yourself (whenever those types of things come up for you) and find that joy!
"So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do." Luke 17:10
This is a daily struggle for me.
I hope that this is not coming across as argueing, but rather as uplifting to do as we ought.
Thank you for the opportunity to share!
Many Blessings to you!
BellaMama
After reading your first comment, I took the opportunity to talk to DH about the programme again. I tried to be very open when I asked him if he honestly wanted me to be like the wives we saw on the documentary. His reply? "I don't want you to be a slave or have to give up your personality and do just what I say." He also said that he wouldn't know what needed to be done around the house or how long any task would take so it would be fruitless him giving me a 'to-do' list each day. Basically his position was: I have a brain so use it!
On the other hand, some of the women at work were talking about this (I'm in a Christian workplace) and one apparently had told her husband that the way they'd done things for the past 30+ years worked and she wasn't going to change so he better not get any ideas! Oh honey, perhaps you need to buy the book! :)
I know that each couple is different. I think we pretty much agree, also. I'm glad you did go to your husband (which ultimately it all is between you and him!).
"Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." I Pet.3:7
Thanks again,
BellaMama
*By the way, I am enjoying reading your blog & am encouraged seeing your sweater done! I'm still tackling my vest...it just takes so much longer than socks. :)