Though I Walk Through The Valley

On the weekend we watched a touching movie that celebrated the love between a married couple in their winter years. Perhaps what made it so poignant was that the wife could no longer recall their years together or recognise her spouse or children and yet still her husband stayed by her side, refusing to leave her even when their children pleaded with him to come home. Even though she didn't know him, he stayed with her and loved her to the end.

The fear of being alone and unloved at the end of my life is one that has tormented me at times. My maternal great grandmother suffered from senile dementia and four - possibly five - of her children had - or have - Alzheimer's. On the other side of my family, my paternal aunt and grandfather suffered from depression. It seems that it is something we have in common so the fear of being alone at the end of my life, not knowing my loved ones, is not an idle one.

There's a joke about several older citizens sitting talking and one says that she doesn't miss her sight because there's nothing worth seeing anymore, another that she doesn't miss her hearing because there's nothing worth listening to anymore, one her ability to walk because there's nowhere she wants to go anymore, and then the last one says, "I dunno ... I kinda miss my mind."

I think I'd miss my mind too.

But even if my worst fears come to pass - even if all earthly companions desert me, there's One that stays closer than a brother. He is my Comfort. My Deliverer. My Anchor. My Light. My Rock. When I walk through the valley, He is there. When I emerge on to the mountain top, He is there. When I go down in to the pit, He is there. I need not be afraid.

Perhaps the reason why the Psalms are loved by so many Christians is because the Psalmist experienced a lot of the fears and trails that we encounter today.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise Him,
my Saviour and my God.

Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

By day the LORD directs His love,
at night His song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

Send forth Your light and Your truth,
let them guide me;
let them bring me to Your holy mountain,
to the place where You dwell.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise Him,
my Saviour and my God.
(Psalm 42:5, 7-8, Psalm 43:3-5, NIV)