Three weeks ago our youngest son left the country. Today he returned. In that time there have been many changes. After over 100 days of no community transmission, New Zealand now has a cluster in the community. Almost two weeks ago Auckland was once again plunged into Level 3 lockdown while the rest of the country stepped up to Level 2. A user-pay system for managed isolation quarantine was introduced and frequent handwashing and the wearing of masks when social distancing was impossible was advised. (Can you believe that I still haven't made masks for everyone in my family? I've had more important sewing projects to work on - such as a wedding quilt.)
He may or may not notice these changes (his thoughts are likely to be elsewhere and he'll be in managed isolation quarantine anyway) but there is another change with which he'll be fully cognizant even if the rest of us may still be a little slow getting our heads around it.
He left New Zealand a single man. He is returning married. Things have changed!
I'm not sure if I've yet fully grasped that I am now the proud mother of five married sons. After years and years of being the only female I now have five beautiful daughters-in-law AND seven gorgeous granddaughters. (And one super handsome grandson to boost the male numbers slightly.)
Since the moment Son#5 and his now-wife told us of their plans, I have felt an incredible peace about all of this. Such that Son#5 actually commented that we were taking it a whole lot better than he expected. Sure, I grieved because I couldn't be physically present to see my son married, and I raged at this virus that is the cause of all this, and I still hope to celebrate with them in person when they renew their vows sometime in the future, and yet I still felt - and feel - peace.
Earlier this week DIL#5 shared engagement photos with us and a sneak preview of a few wedding photos (the professional type - not the grainy or over-exposed photos from our celebration) and I rejoiced to see how happy they looked and that they had been making what will become their memories and stories in the years ahead. I can just imagine them one day telling their children and grandchildren the story of their beautiful pandemic wedding.
Today DH and I Zoomed with our newest DIL's parents and heard some of the stories behind the wedding day (such as the real reason the bride was late - no blame to the bride at all!) and discovered who were some of the other guests who were also eager Zoom participants on the day and how they were connected to the couple.
They were able to explain some of the traditions we witnessed and why there was no signing of the register which has always been a part of every wedding I've ever attended. (Apparently I can relax: they are legally married!)
We were also able to thank them for all that they did - and especially the things we weren't able to do due to either not being present or the difference in time zones. Things that are important to us such as praying with our son before he stood at the altar. We had done it with him before he left New Zealand, and were praying for him on the day, but just had not been able to make it work before the ceremony on their actual wedding day.
Other things such as sending me photos of my son just prior to the ceremony or the bride in all her finery or the two wedding cakes (which was new to us as we traditionally only have one) - photos that helped me to feel so much more a part of it.
It's been a week now and it feels less surreal than it did in the beginning. I have still only seen a photo of my son's hand with its wedding band, and I still haven't chatted with the bride or groom about how they felt their day went, but all that will come with time.
Meanwhile, I'm reminded that while a wedding is a wonderful celebration, that it is the marriage that counts. The cake and food gets eaten, the flowers fade, the wedding attire gets stored away, but a marriage is for life. We may have missed the actual wedding, but it is our prayer that we get to see this marriage grow and change over the years; to see it blessed and blessing others; and to rejoice that in the midst of a global pandemic, something beautiful can emerge.
A cord of three strands is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12b
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