My fifty-something self marvelled that even back then money or looks or success were not on the list. Some characteristics I wanted I didn't even know the words for - such as faithfulness - but I knew that a man who wouldn't go after other women was essential. I'm not sure if I kept that list - if so I can't put my hands on it - but I don't need a physical copy to remember the list and to be thankful for the man that God gave me who has every single characteristic on that list.
Yesterday we quietly remembered thirty-nine years since we announced our engagement. And then I took a few minutes to look back at what has happened during those years.
Five wonderful sons.
All now married to five beautiful women.
Eight adorable and precious granddaughters.
One charming and precious grandson.
A move overseas.
Job changes.
Ongoing house renovations. (Almost done, I promise.)
Our every need met.
Four church families (and a current search for a new one).
Ministry with children, youth, and music over the years.
Four books published. (And two more completed or almost so.)
Short-term mission trips to India and South-East Asia.
The loss of loved ones.
The blessing of parents entering their seventies, eighties, and even nineties.
Answer to prayers over and over again. (And how thankful we are for the most recent answer for employment for Son#5.)
And the list goes on ... and on ...
Later I remarked to a colleague that when you get engaged, and then married, you know it's supposed to be forever, but somehow you can't see past the first five to ten years. You certainly never imagine yourself as a grandmother of many! She replied that when they got married they had just hoped they would get past the seven-year-itch (they have more than doubled that). I don't remember the seven-year-itch. We were probably too busy putting food on the table and raising our [then] three energetic sons.
But since that first commitment to one another that was marked with an engagement ring (that I broke days before the wedding - and then lost on a camping trip when our youngest was a baby) to the formal and binding wedding ceremony, there have been countless opportunities to renew that commitment and to stand by the vows we made.
It was not always easy. I suspect I struggled more than DH. He was not deceived by romantic dreams of a romantic hero (or in his case, heroine) and knew my faults (although, I suspect he was surprised by a few more that emerged after the wedding). There have been times when I have been aware of how imperfect I am, and times when I've been very aware of how imperfect he is (and I've probably concentrated more on the latter than the former).
There have been times when love seemed limitless, and times it felt as if it might fail us. Times when faith was shaky, yet God was always faithful. And when it seemed that love waned, there was the commitment to shore us up until it returned again.
And in all that time, our God never failed us, never let us down. Not even once.
Today as I sit here I am in awe of all that He has done. His goodness and the many, many blessings He has bestowed. From that small commitment has grown a marriage and family that now encompasses twenty-one individuals and counting. This year we are excited at the prospect of welcoming two new family members. We also look forward with hope (but also realism kicks in as we are aware that our international borders are wont to close at a moment's notice) to finally meeting The Most Adorable Granddaughter#8 and smothering her with love that has so far only been conveyed via a screen and gifts.
We are also about to face another change. Son#2 and his beautiful family who have been in and out of our home for the last thirteen years are about to move. Not too far away. Unlike Son#5 and his family, they will remain in New Zealand. But the quick and impromptu visits will be replaced with planned weekends away.
Suddenly we feel like empty-nesters. In reality, the term has belonged to us for the past two years (since Son#4 left to get married) and even before then, for a year or two when all five sons were either at university or establishing homes of their own. But now, with no grandchildren in town, it feels as if all the chicks have [finally] flown the nest.
But I believe it's a good move for them and one that we will all adjust to. It will be different. But as my manager often says when faced with change, it's an opportunity. An opportunity for Son#2 and his family for a new job, a new home, a new life, new friends, a new church. For DH and I, it's an opportunity to learn to love The Most Adorable Granddaughters#4-#7 from a distance, to plan holidays, to pray diligently, to overload our devices with family photos and share them with anyone who expresses even the slightest amount of interest, to feel pride in all of our families, and to thank God that He holds us all in His hands.
I wonder what my teenage self would make of my life nowadays?
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