As a friend was leaving today they made some comment on the length of our marriage and our sticking ability and Son#2 replied that it was because both DH and I are stubborn and neither of us would be the first to give up! Yes, we are stubborn, but when it comes to our marriage, I believe it's a different kind of stubbornness to what he was accusing each of us of (because, let's be honest, there were times I was ready to be the first to give in and give up).
There's the stubbornness of doing what we know is right for our children. We had children very early in our marriage (one year, one week and one day after wedding) so for most of our married life there has been at least one other person, other than ourselves, to consider. I never wanted my kids growing up in a broken home, tossed from one parent to another, feeling torn between the mum and dad they loved. At times, I stayed and worked it out for no other reason than I dearly loved my kids and wanted what was best for them.
There's the stubbornness of doing what is right in the eyes of others. Not in a pretense sense - although at times it possibly felt that way (fake it until you make it) - but knowing that we were surrounded as it were by a great cloud of witnesses (those who had witnessed our wedding, those who knew we were married, etc, etc) there was a sense that we couldn't let them down, that we needed to keep at it because we had made vows before God and man and we needed to fulfil those vows - even when we didn't feel like it.
There's the stubbornness of doing what is right before God and according to His Word. Whenever I was tempted to be stubborn and go my own way, this greater stubbornness would bring me back to the right path - the knowledge that this was what God said was right and that there was no getting away from it. I might have tried to find a loophole at times, but deep down I always knew that fulfilling those marriage vows was what God wanted.
Finally, there's stubborn love. Stubborn love that refused to give up even when we felt that "for worse" was far worse than what we had signed up for. Stubborn love that helped us work through the difficulties we faced. Stubborn love that knew, deep down, in the end it would be worth it.
So as we celebrated and enjoyed a beautiful day with family and friends and the love of some of our nearest and dearest (and missed achingly those who couldn't be with us), I was glad for that stubbornness. As people commented on what a beautiful family we have, I was reminded that God knows best: that he set the lonely in families for a reason and that His plan for marriage and family is always perfect.
Yeah, I'm stubborn, but sometimes that stubbornness has served me well.
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