I can't fly.
I'm grounded.
My wings are clipped.
Life is weighing me down.
At times I battle despondency to such a degree that I find it hard to carry on. Apart from my husband, no one knows how deep and ugly the despair becomes. I hide it from my family, my friends, my kids, my church, my colleagues.
It can be triggered by tiredness, by stress, by hormones. Usually it's a combination.
Last night I crawled into bed, tears pouring down my face after an episode of extreme self-loathing and, curled up in bed, I tried praying.
God heard me.
And answered.
Isaiah Forty-three.
Um, that's my blog verse isn't it? The one about eagles' wings?
Isaiah Forty-three.
Yeah, my blog verse. I'm sure it's from there somewhere. Or is it perhaps from Isaiah forty? Does it matter?
Isaiah Forty-three.
Okay, okay.
I reached over the side of the bed and picked up my Bible and turned to Isaiah forty-three.
But now thus saith the LORD that created thee ... and He that formed thee ... Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art Mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour ... thou wast precious in My sight ... and I have loved thee ... Fear not: for I am with thee (taken from the first five verses of Isaiah 43).
I felt the strength coming back into my wings.
I'd received a gift.
A love letter
For me.
From the Lord God who redeemed me. From a God who loves me and in Whose sight I am precious.
A love letter. From God at a time when I desperately needed it. A love letter that reminded me that I'm not alone - that God will see me through this time.
A love letter. From a God who cares. Cares for me - as tiny and insignificant as I am. A God who understands my darkest days because He knows me - He made me.
A love letter that will enable me to spread my wings and fly because He will never ever let me fall.
I'm grounded.
My wings are clipped.
Life is weighing me down.
At times I battle despondency to such a degree that I find it hard to carry on. Apart from my husband, no one knows how deep and ugly the despair becomes. I hide it from my family, my friends, my kids, my church, my colleagues.
It can be triggered by tiredness, by stress, by hormones. Usually it's a combination.
Last night I crawled into bed, tears pouring down my face after an episode of extreme self-loathing and, curled up in bed, I tried praying.
God heard me.
And answered.
Isaiah Forty-three.
Um, that's my blog verse isn't it? The one about eagles' wings?
Isaiah Forty-three.
Yeah, my blog verse. I'm sure it's from there somewhere. Or is it perhaps from Isaiah forty? Does it matter?
Isaiah Forty-three.
Okay, okay.
I reached over the side of the bed and picked up my Bible and turned to Isaiah forty-three.
But now thus saith the LORD that created thee ... and He that formed thee ... Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art Mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour ... thou wast precious in My sight ... and I have loved thee ... Fear not: for I am with thee (taken from the first five verses of Isaiah 43).
I felt the strength coming back into my wings.
I'd received a gift.
A love letter
For me.
From the Lord God who redeemed me. From a God who loves me and in Whose sight I am precious.
A love letter. From God at a time when I desperately needed it. A love letter that reminded me that I'm not alone - that God will see me through this time.
A love letter. From a God who cares. Cares for me - as tiny and insignificant as I am. A God who understands my darkest days because He knows me - He made me.
A love letter that will enable me to spread my wings and fly because He will never ever let me fall.
Comments
Yesterday I, too, had a 'heavy and oppressive' day (this happens very seldom) nevertheless, it was horrible. I thought it was the cloudiness, as we've had rain storm after rain storm, and not any sunshine. I thought I was being overly sensitive to the cloud cover, and prayed and asked the Lord to show me what to do...after a while the song from Isaiah 61 came to mind, and I began to sing it, louder and louder, as I drove back home from shopping. In a few minutes I was not 'down in the dumps' anymore and in a few more minutes the sun shone through, and the skies cleared. Thank you Lord.
I'm sure you know it: "He gave me beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, I am a tree of righteousness, the planting of the Lord...and Jesus is glorified."
Here is the actual scripture: "To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified." Isa 61:3
Praising the Lord is the first thing I should think of doing...
^__^