High Expectations


I tend to avoid hairdressers. And for a very simple reason: I usually leave the salon in tears. I don't know what it is. Perhaps I expect them to work miracles with the raw material that they're given and when I come out looking less than gorgeous I'm disappointed. Or perhaps it's also due to the fact that I have wavy hair which has a mind of its own with some wanting to spring up to a third of its length while the rest of it is happy to imitate straightness and no one has yet sorted out which likes to do what.

Whatever it is, after hearing several women talking about how they feel like 'a new woman' when they've been to the hair salon, and being ever so tired of always feeling so very unattractive, I made an appointment and went in to have some face framing layers cut in.

I regretted it almost from the moment I walked out the door. I can't blame the stylist - she only did what I asked and consulted me before she made the first cut - but what on others is a flattering style on me just looks clownish.

I know that it can take time to get used to a new style, but I feel so silly that already I'm pinning the layers back out of the way and pretending that they don't exist. The stylist also cut in more fringe (bangs), which to my mind is too heavy but I can live with that.

I just wonder if as well as lacking the "I love to shop" gene am I also missing the "I love to visit the hair salon" gene?

However it's not all doom and gloom. While I've lost some volume on my length due to the layers that she cut in, I've got tiny spirals forming from the waves and the back actually looks very nice for a change (and she only took off the tiniest amount).

Comments

Roxanne said…
So sorry for you; it'll grow back. I HATE to go to the hair stylist. I, too, look clownish with the hair styles that other people look great in -- the hair stylists only do what I tell them to do (usually), but the styles are not flattering on me. What works best on me is a "Buster Brown" -- a bowl shaped, unlayered, unthinned blunt cut all around my head and feathered back with the blow-dryer. I just do it myself.
SchnauzerMom said…
I'm sorry that you don't like your cut. Maybe eventually you will learn to like it. I have wavy hair too. It does what it wants too. The best cut for me is a pixie. My hair seems to like it and it suits my face.
Unknown said…
I hate going to the stylist too, mostly because each time I have, they chop off way too much. That is why I started cutting it myself. I can completely relate to pinning the layers back. I am doing that to the small pieces I cut that were whispy's, and the extra bangs. They are already at the stage where they are really bugging me. I keep wondering if I am going to ever be content with my long hair. I keep toying with cutting it, but I didn't like it when I cut the small amount I did! I can imagine how I would feel with a drastic change. Yet, I see these hip styles that are shorter (but still considered "long" by most people), and I wonder if I would look better. I wonder if I look completely ridiculous with hair this long at my age.

I'm sure that you do not look clownish! You are a beautiful woman with beautiful hair. The layers are probably a drastic change for you. What does your family think of it? I hope you post a picture. How short is your shortest layer?

By the way, I am also one of those women who doesn't like to shop! Never really have. So you are not alone!
Jules said…
Mary, I usually cut my hair myself but I've been so unhappy with the bangs lately that I thought a stylist might be able to do a better job. Plus I wasn't game to make a change like that myself.

SchnauzerMom, I have to disagree. You look good in a pixie but I've also seen you with longer hair and it also looks good on you. I must admit that I've thought of a pixie since this last cut. I'm just so disappointed and hating it so much that I feel like 1" all over is the way to go.

Jen, I went back and looked at your blog and our wispies are about the same. I think though that the stylist cut in more bangs that what you have. I wish I knew how to find a good 'line' for my own bangs so that I could do it myself but I always seem to be able to get it right on one side but not the other. BTW, you do not look ridiculous with long hair despite your 'advanced' age (lol). Imagine how I feel then with long hair. I have quite a few years on you!

DH says they're 'fine' but 'fine' isn't 'gorgeous' or 'stunning' or anything else that I want to hear.
Unknown said…
Jules, so you just have them around your face, not all over? I think I was picturing that you layered it all over. Before I cut mine, I saw a picture of Jane Seymour with these beautiful face framing whispy's. I wanted to duplicate that. It looked great on her, but not on me. My bangs are almost 2 inches back now, and I sectioning off 1 inch of that (the section I cut) and am trying to grow it back again. It was way too much bangs.

It is funny, but I don't look at other women over 30 with long hair as looking ridiculous! When I see you, or April, or Lil, I always think you look beautiful. And looking at you, it is really hard for me to tell your age with your hair being long. If I didn't know you, I would guess you to be in your late 30's. So I know that long hair makes a woman look younger. For some reason I just wonder if I look ridiculous. I don't know why. Maybe because there isn't anyone I know that lives near me that has long hair like me. I am the only one at my church. I would say the majority of my church has women with SHORT hair! One woman has hair shorter than my husband, almost to the point where it is shaved. So I guess I feel like a bit of an oddball. I just need to be comfortable in my own skin. Then I won't care if others think I look ridiculous :).
Jules said…
Jen, no one at church - not even the teens or young girls - have hair longer than mine. One woman has hair at BSL but she's 10 years younger. I did have a friend with longish hair but she's moved away, so I understand what you're saying. In our society, shoulder length is considered long! In fact, if you google long hair styles you're lucky to get any style longer than BSL and if you google mature long hair styles you're likely to be told that you shouldn't go beyond BSL once you're past 30 (let alone if you're 40 or older)! So for us it's fighting against what society and fashion considers beauty to be as well as accepting that we can be different and still beautiful (our husbands would say 'even more beautiful' than the copy-cat styles that abound). I struggle with it all the time. But I can tell you that you're a very beautiful woman and whenever you post pics on your blog of your hair I always turn green with envy. Always!

My bangs are probably about 2" deep also but I have a low forehead and a widow's peak so it seems like a lot of hair. The parting that the stylist made is not even on both sides either. One section actually looks as if she sectioned off the bangs and then a chunk that should be long fell forward and she cut that with the bangs as well. Perhaps it's the 'asymmetrical' look that's popular but it annoys me. Luckily, if I comb it back when my hair's wet I don't need to do anything else to get it to stay. My bangs are meant to be side swept but I don't find that flattering on someone my age with a 45-year-old forehead! Too age revealing for my taste. So back to growing it out again. I'm just thankful that I had enough sense not to go for the all-over layered look. And in case this is too negative, I do like the trim my ends received. She only took off the 1/4" she said she would but it's made such a huge difference.