Thirty Seven Things I Have Learnt (or Almost Learnt) in Thirty Seven Years of Marriage

 A few days ago DH and I quietly celebrated our thirty-seventh wedding anniversary at home. We didn't even pull out old photos to look at together since he is unable to see apart from outlines at present. Only a few days previous I had said that we should break out and do something special to celebrate our anniversary this year (sometimes we are all celebrated out after Christmas and struggle to make the effort - not helped by the fact that there are five family birthdays between Christmas and the end of January to also celebrate). What happened on Tuesday changed those plans.

We did however break out a bottle of sparkling grape juice and yesterday we attended a wedding of one of my colleagues (where DH wore dark glasses and looked like a cross between a Hollywood star and a mobster). 

In thirty-seven years there are a few things that I've learnt about marriage:

One: Sometimes the feelings are so intense they are almost frightening;

Two: Sometimes the feelings are absent and it is commitment that holds marriage together;

Three: Love is a verb;

Four: "'Til death us do part" seems light years away on your wedding day. You don't imagine the grey hairs and the wrinkles and the health issues that come with old age;

Five: Growing old with someone who loves you is a beautiful thing;

Six: All starry eyed on your wedding day you imagine it will be wonderful to wake up next to this person for the rest of your life;

Seven: Most days it is wonderful to wake up next to the person you married;

Eight: Children are a blessing from the Lord;

Nine: Raising children is one of the hardest things you will do together;

Ten: But also one of the most rewarding;

Eleven: Grandchildren are an absolutely amazing gift;

Twelve: Life has a way of taking the rug out from under your feet at times but it's easier when there is someone beside you as you attempt to regain your footing;

Thirteen: Camping is a wonderful way to build relationships and memories;

Fourteen: Camping is the most stressful holiday experience ever invented;

Fifteen: Your spouse will not stay the same person that you married;

Sixteen: Neither will you;

Seventeen: Only God can change your spouse and His ways and plans are better than yours;

Eighteen: You will grow up together and change together;

Nineteen: Accept your spouse for who they are;

Twenty: Understanding comes the longer you live together;

Twenty-one: Romance doesn't always look like the movies or in the books. Find and celebrate your kind of romance;

Twenty-two: Learn to disagree without getting ugly;

Twenty-three: Be quick to apologise;

Twenty-four: Don't delay forgiveness;

Twenty-five: Be always ready to laugh;

Twenty-six: You don't have to share all the other's interests but encourage each other to pursue those interests;

Twenty-seven: Go often for walks together;

Twenty-eight: Enjoy coffee together;

Twenty-nine: Talk together; make plans together; dream together; spend time together;

Thirty: Marriage doesn't get good on its own. You have to invest in it;

Thirty-one: Make God the centre of your marriage. You'll still have problems and issues but He will be the cord that holds you together;

Thirty-two: Learn how to comfort and care for one another;

Thirty-three: Pray together;

Thirty-four: Sometimes it's the little stuff that matters most and is remembered longest;

Thirty-five: Marriage goes through cycles. Difficult times are inevitable. Face them and work through them together;

Thirty-six: And enjoy the good times together;

Thirty-seven: Celebrate every wedding anniversary even when you don't feel like it.

That's my list but I suspect DH's would be quite different. After living with him for thirty-seven years I can say with almost complete confidence that his list would be this:

One: Put God first;

Two: All the marriage advice you'll ever need is in the Bible;

Three: Just love each other.

And after thirty-seven years, I would say that we're both right!

[The photo is our attempt at a selfie between the wedding service and reception yesterday. We may eventually land on our four feet in this digital age yet!]